We’re going to dive into a topic that will probably feel like an obvious thing for Kedrik the Winter WOLF to have spoken of sooner but to be honest, I have never felt the need to clarify. That said I think this topic deserves some attention and clarification, as there is still, despite plenty of information to go off, a lot of polarized ideas and misunderstandings. What's more, the market that formed around these topics is rising to a feverish pitch and the fakes are shaking out, so now is as good a time as any.

Let's talk about hierarchy in human society, particularly in terms of rank, as demonstrated by the classic models of Wolf pack roles.

One of the misconceptions about pack hierarchy is that it is rigid; that the roles are concrete and unmoving. In the captive wolf studies this was true, but it was in a relatively static environment as compared to the dynamic nature of the wilderness. With the increase in wild wolf observations it became clear that this is quite far from the truth in natural settings. Turns out there are indeed alpha mating pairs, but that larger packs can have more than one pair. There are Omega wolves at the bottom of the pack, but they are not abused, mistreated, or expendable. In many cases the bulk of the pack is some form of Delta, and the Omega is simply the one that is, in any given situation, at the bottom of the hierarchy. It’s more useful as an indicator of which wolf drew the short straw due to performance or social dynamics in any given moment.

All that said, humans are not wolves.

Furthermore, we are not, by and large, Wild.

A good friend of mine uses the model: wild, feral, domestic.

The wild types are of nature, in nature, by nature. The domestic types live within the constructed societies of humanity. The feral are somewhere in between. Depending on who you ask they’re domestics that have gone to the wild and come back. Others see it as a role on the edge, a liminal position that isn’t quite domestic and yet is living a notch outside of the wild ecosystem.

Another useful map but even that isn’t accurate to humans.

We are a once wild creature that through proliferation attained some sort of ferality; some sort of mild domestication. We lived in the wild but we were somehow not of the wild as we once were. That trend continued through many era until today.

At this point, the human species outside of remote tribal settings and lawless chaotic areas of the map is domestic to the core. There’s not much wild left but the spark that made us what we are and to most, it is a dim memory at best if not a disgusting distraction.

So unfortunately for us and fortunately for this discussion, the domestic assumptions of pack hierarchy still largely apply.

All that said, there’s a topic I want to addendum onto this: the nature of true Masculinity and the process of initiation for Men.

Ladies, If you want my thoughts from this side of the world, I'll write to you another time, but I encourage you to keep reading so you might understand the men in your life at least a little better.

From any given vantage the definition of masculinity, or rather the explanation of the best version of it, shifts. To the cave man era the masculine archetype was the one that could crack the most skulls for the survival of the tribe. But we don’t use that metric anymore. Still, we haven’t lost sight of it entirely as we have not yet lost sight of the perils of incarnation and mortality. We have need for the brawn and the muscle from time to time, even if it’s a bit of car repair and a new roof. Knowing it’s there gives us some comfort if the worst comes to pass.

On the inverse side is the rather new notion of “New Masculinity” or as some call it “Sacred Masculinity”. The emphasis on spirituality as a frame of evaluation tells you it’s origin is in the Green stage of Integral Theory; the one where spirituality, oneness, expansive sense of self, and therefore a rejection of traditional models, base survival structures, and materialist economics. In this strange new world, “healed” masculinity is seen as the the process a Man goes through when he essentially becomes more feminine. The strength, guardianship, and power of the old Masculine is replaced with a soft-touch and emotionally expressive man. In reality we know this to be a rejection of the core aspects of Masculinity and in a sense the final step of stabilizing something that’s real and honest.

What results is a definition of masculinity that hearkens back to concepts from a very long time ago, before modern man made everything so complicated. Before we had the culture of Bravado replaced with the expectation of being a Breadwinner only to be replaced with this soft-man of the spiritual today. Borrowing from the old Taoist and Buddhist models, and with appreciation for David Deida’s modern re-frames of both, I like to consider them as essences because any given modern person is unlikely to be 100% of either masculine or feminine. We all have some composition of the two within us, balancing where needed. In rejection of being too soft during an age of competition, the traditional strong-man image was born and as a result, modern men rejected that story to create the feminization of Masculinity. In truth there is an internal acceptance of the Feminine with the external embodiment of Masculine that hits the sweet spot. Even within that there is a range, but what I have found over many years of working with Men is that 9 times out of 10, the ones that think they must be soft are hiding a wound around hurting women while the ones that reject their softness are doing something similar in the other direction.

So I say with a degree of confidence: for those of us that identify as men, who seek some sort of self actualization, it’s essential we take a closer look at our Masculinity.

For one part, the Masculine is the vector of existence. It is the effort to achieve and progress, pointed in a particular direction, with some amount of force. In addition to that it is also a range of characteristics that might more comfortably be described as Yang. This use of the Chinese term removes the assumption that the Masculine man can only have Masculine traits. In truth he can embody both Yin and Yang qualities so long as the adoption of the Yin does not destabilize his core, default essence. And this is the key: when we talk about Masculine men tending to hold more of the Yang characteristics and less of the Yin, we are taking about their predominant, primary, and default state. We’re talking about how they are when they are honest with themselves and in their most natural expression. This says nothing about capacity for the Feminine, the Yin, in these same men. They still have access to empathy, emotion, care, gentleness. It is simply the case they that do not lead themselves (or others) from that state.

As hinted, the Masculine essence contains all of the values and qualities relevant to being the “vector”. Sun, Fire, Warmth, Hardness, Motion, Strategy, Cleverness, Strength, Rationality, Logic. There’s also a degree to which the Masculine essence seems to demonstrably hold things like spacial awareness, agility, physical strength, determination, setting/holding a container, and calculated power. This is as opposed to the Feminine essence being the holder of Creation, Life, energy, and the flow of all that Is. It moves with expressions such as Softness, Passiveness, Stillness, Gentleness, Kindness. Notice the -ness suffix. It is precisely the Feminine’s nature to be a state of existence, to be a quality, versus the Masculine’s role to be the motion and the activation.

For my part this is what I consider Masculinity and to be a Man: he is someone who is upright, strong, with integrity and an ability to see situations clearly, call them with accuracy, and make choices with clarity, rationality, and instinct. He is a guardian, a protector, a defender, but also the one who sets the container and holds space for others. He does not allow his reactions to rule him but he is likewise not afraid to respond. When he is hurt he continues to maintain decency towards others; when he is beyond his limits he excuses himself from positions of authority so that he can recenter. He is capable of many skills but also of the dynamics expressions of channeled energetics. Be it defense of the tribe or building of a house, or even simply building a small fire and carving a piece of wood, his position is that of activation and completion. The driving force from start to finish, such that the Feminine -in him or in others- can fill the space with life.

What is important to note here is the fact that while the intensity of that Masculinity might vary and the expression of it will invariably match the role that a particular Man finds himself in, the definition I've given and the principles of it do not change. It is the Man who flexes the core of Masculinity to fit the Path that he chooses to walk.

And so looking back to where we started, it becomes clear that while the Masculine is definitely the actualization of the self, the Masculine Man comes in various forms.

To borrow from the model which is untrue of wild Wolves but surprisingly useful for human Men, we end up with a few sorts of guys:

Alpha. Beta. Delta. Omega. Sigma.

The Alpha you know well enough; he’s every action hero, every intense protagonist, and the man’s man with the big muscles. This is a classic type, known to society and yet somehow in many circles he’s become the one and only way for men to be Men. But like the wolves we don’t live in such a simple society.

The Beta Man is up next. He’s capable, willing, and driven. He’s essentially an Alpha, he just isn’t leading his own pack. For a bit, the internet used it as a slur, suggesting that Beta Males were weak, stick thin nerds that got picked on. In reality this label is better used for the men that look at the dynamics of their tribe and community and set out to achieve greatness within the confines of the established culture. And that is the key. Beta Men want to be Alpha men, and they’re almost there. Specifically though, they have a clear target of the sort of Alpha they want to be. Said another way, they’re already high in the climb of their pack and their “type” is set. They have some ideas of how to do things that might not match the Alpha’s culture 100% but by and large they want their slice of the American dream in a particular way, too. Given the ample space in society to do so, many of them will become Alphas even if it is purely in their own house with their own wife and kids.

The Delta Man is in a similar position but instead of leading the run to the top they’re center of the pack. Arguably this is a role that would be filled with teenage boys and young adult males who are still sorting themselves out and happy to settle into the middle of the scheme while they do so, but it also includes the majority of Men today who either haven’t had a strong initiation into their Masculinity or they have and they’re content with a quiet and peaceful life outside of the spotlight. It has been said that Delta’s also tend to be the men who look at society as a whole as their pack and, near as they can tell, it’s all pretty much handled, so why fuss over pushing perspectives? No innovation necessary just ‘sign me up thank you’ and they’re running down the track. They’re headed the same direction as the Beta Men, but because they’re either so far behind on the climb to Alpha, or they’ve chosen not to fuss over that drama, they’re not really in the race. Most of them are happy to not be.

It’s important to note that for every Masculine role I’m talking about there’s a Feminine counterpoint. There are a few Alphas on each side of the gender line, a handful of Betas, and a lot of Deltas. In some ways you could consider the Deltas as the normies, the baseline, the average human, the bulk of the species. Not to say they aren’t remarkable -it can be far from it- but only to say that in social dynamics, they are the cloud at the center of the scatter plot and there’s a lot of them.

Next up is the Omega Men. I use this one lightly because in truth most men who find themselves in the Omega role are usually a Delta (or even Beta) more often than not. The Omega is the one who is the scapegoat for the group, fumble handed, and yes, in some cases the bottom of the pack. They may even be down on their luck, striking out bad, feeling weak, powerless, frustrated, hopeless. We could call that an “Acute Omega”. There aren’t a lot of Men who hang out down there. Most of the time the Omega is more of a transitory role. It might be a transit that takes months or years, but it usually isn’t permanent. As a man develops, grows, and evolves, he will slip in and out of social webs and therefore in and out of roles. As such, the Omega can return to being a Delta, evolve past to become a Beta, or even transition to the mysterious role of Sigma.

And that’s where we go next, the Sigma Men.

If this were a scatter plot of dots on an x-y graph, they would be the dots that are way outside of the cloud of averages. Be it a graph about culture, politics, or even hierarchy, they’re just not on the map. This is the strength, but it also has drawbacks. These can be seen as “High Sigma” and “Low Sigma”, or as I prefer, “Sovereign Sigma” and “Outcast Sigma”. Within the Sovereign you have all manner of excellence. Within the Outcast you have the Rebels, Rejects, Anarchists, and otherwise “non compliant” types.

When it comes to the Sovereign Sigma Men, they’re not the Alpha, but they tend to be highly capable of competing with the Alphas... they simply don’t care to. They rival the greatest individuals within the well worn groove... but they simple have no desire to follow those tracks. In some cases these Sov Sigmas are so focused on their own growth and development that the idea of competing with the outside world isn’t interesting. In other cases it’s a matter of perception: it’s not that they don’t care, they just hardly notice the competition is happening. In either case they pursue at excellence because they don’t know how not to. The downside? Being the lone wolf because you can, means that when you want or need tribe, your image is already established and people assume you’ve got it handled. Sov Sigmas tend to end up on the outskirts of a few tribes and often don’t end up in the middle until they form their own and become the Alpha, if ever. This is also why in observation of wild wolves the label of Sigma was removed because we have yet to see a Wild Wolf successfully manage to survive to a normal lifespan. Humans don’t have the same loss of lifespan, but Sigma humans tend to bump into glass ceilings of success due purely to the limited resources for an army of one.

On the other end of the Sigma scale are the Outcasts. The name is as it implies: they tend to be Sigma because they were rejected or ousted from their pack or tribe, even if they wanted to go anyways. This is the big difference between both Sigmas: The Sovereign leaves while the tribe says stay while the Outcast is sent away regardless of their preference. In humans, Outcast Sigmas tend to be obvious, and where their Sovereign counterparts rally to excellence, they tend to sink into their victim-hood story and build survival capacity in a more pessimistic way. On the other hand, Outcast Sigmas tend to find each other and because of this, and the fact that they didn’t really want to leave their tribe even if they say otherwise, they’ll often form new tribes readily. Some classic examples would be Biker Cubs, Street Gangs, Homeless troupes, and similar. They’ve been rejected from society in some generalized way and as a result they end up standing next to each other. The upside: an entire “non societal” ecosystem of tribes forms and many people still get inclusion in this way. The downside: without direct access to the usual resources and support of a tribe and society in general, they tend to struggle in ways that seem trivial to the rest of the types.

So the stage is set and if you’re a Man or a person who has a Man they care about you’re probably wondering, “What do I do with this?”

The answer is as always, it depends. But this is where we come to the other topic I hinted at in the beginning: Initiation.

The short answer is that you can do a big initiation first, and subsequently many smaller ones, or you can do a bunch of small initiations leading into a bigger one. But either way you go -and the cycles will keep going, my friend- you’re going to face these initiations -dare I say invitations- into the bigger version of you that’s waiting. You’re going to face the calling of your true self as it echoes back at you from the future or the aether, or both. One thing that most Men (overwhelmingly most) never got was an initiation into their Manhood. We have a society of boys in man bodies trying to make sense of a world that didn’t invite them into their higher calling but expected them to get there all the same. If you’re in that boat, either feeling ashamed because you don’t understand what you did wrong, or frustrated that you’ve had to slog through the uphill growth curve on your own, or maybe you don’t want to admit it but something at the back of your mind is itching, I mean this with all sincerity: don’t feel bad.

I didn’t even get that, to be fair. I put myself through it like some sort of prescient oracle reading the needs of the future, only at the time I didn’t know why I was doing it. I got into medieval camping and got all my own shit together to make it happen. I went backpacking and hiking, learned skills like horseback archery and food preservation, and later joined a 9 month wilderness immersion course on survival. Right out of the gate from that course I split my time between traveling the world solo on my own dime and going back to the wilderness. Then I found all the other wildernesses I could. Emotional Mastery. Psychedelics. Relationship styles. Not to mention the undertone of Esoteric and Mysticism studies that has pervaded my life always present for the last 25 years. I put myself through the ringer in a lot of these areas because, frankly, I couldn’t imagine not, and honestly, because nobody was going to do it for me. I went through the grinder of my own design because the idea of not doing it -of remaining small and disconnected from the primal truth I could feel but not grasp- wasn’t an option.

And yet all around me, even in some of these topics and groups, I watched the other Men dodge the initiation. Simplify it down to an interesting experience and learn nothing about their own soul. So again, if you’re feeling like you missed the boat, technically you’re still in it.

I am suggesting that you need to jump out.

What that looks like is up to you, but I’ll leave you with a compass. Whether you are an Alpha, Beta, Delta, Omega, or Sigma Man, there’s going to be a general principle of initiation that you can track with and there’s going to be a route more particular to your typology. Said another way, the initiation for an Alpha is not the same as the initiation for a Sigma. The Delta who’s happy in the middle of the pack needs a subtler approach than the Beta who is trying to rally into Alpha position. Obviously this is a general framework, because in reality we’re each unique in our proclivities, characteristics, needs, purpose, dharma, and more. So even among Deltas, who tend to track very closely together, the needs of each individual in their initiation into Masculinity will differ.

As for the general principle, you are looking for an experience that unequivocally touches you on all levels. Mental, Emotional, Physical, Spiritual, Energetic, and as a result effects the way you see or quite literally experience those layers along with a few more: Psychological, Social, Financial, and Mission. You are looking for an experience that not only challenges your assumptions, but offers a new frame that is bigger, bolder, more evolved, more comprehensive, and which calls you into the version of yourself that you must be to hold it all. Said plainly, your initiation must show you a bigger version of Masculinity and invite you to fill the role. You might not stick the landing at first, but you will not be able to turn back to where you came from.

A true initiation is a one way road.

All boys need one big initiation into Manhood and specifically into Masculinity. If you are 20 or 30 or 60 and you haven’t had one yet, consider this your invitation. Any time is better than never. Right now is as good as any to put in in your awareness, make an internal decision to make it happen, and then expect the world to bring you an opportunity. And trust me, if you do that, it will reveal itself.

But the question of the particular route for each type of Man is still at hand, so I’ll give you a general sense of it.

For the Alphas you can expect this initiation to challenge you in the ways that you expect yourself to show up -both the ones that you’ve mastered already and the ones you aren’t confident you’ve nailed- and to push your limits in a very direct way. Whatever your domain expertise is, it will be tested. Whatever your other typologies are, they will be questioned. This is because if you are filling the role of the Alpha, your initiation will be one that asks, “Are you 1000% sure you’ve got this?”.

Similarly but with a twist, for the Betas this initiation is going to ask you, “How bad do you want it?”. It will be less about pressing you to prove that you made the right choice and more about testing your determination and resolve. It will be about testing your endurance and your grit. You don’t need your path questioned, you’ve already picked a target. Now it’s about making it happen. What the Alpha in your given tribe is, you will be given a chance to show you can step up to the plate.

For the Sovereign Sigmas it’s a little different. You’ll be pressed to show your grit, sure, but most of your initiation is an invitation to lean into the unknown. How liminal can you be? How far into the dark can you explore? How sure are you that this path you’ve chosen far from the well worn groove is right for you? What merit does it hold in the wider scope and can you prove it to yourself and announce it to the world? You’ll be challenged to answer the challenge, “Would you still be here if you were truly on your own?”

Along those lines the Outcast Sigmas are often given one of two trials. The first is very similar to the Beta Men. It functions as an invitation and a challenge for you to step up into the higher role of Sovereign Sigma. Again, you’ll be asked, “How badly do you want it?” but with the added twist of, “Are you done being the victim?”. It’s a quirky challenge that will draw you out into the world and away from the shadows.

The alternative is an invitation back into society. As we discussed earlier, with the Sigma’s having the capacity to become new Alphas, as an Outcast Sigma your initiation is into a higher stage of self and the inquiry you’ll face is, “Is it time to bring your harvest home?” It’s ultimately a softer initiation in the sense that the challenge is whether you can soften into the role from the hardness of outcast life, but by no means will it be easier. You’re being invited to return to humanity with all of your wisdom. You may recognize this story line in the biographies of ex-felons turned successful business men.

We’ll skip the middle and look right to the Omega Men. In this case being on the bottom rung, down and out, underdog status, the initiation is quite simple. The inquiry you will face is, “Is it time now?”. If you’re an Omega Man you will recognize this question echoing in your mind before I even said it. Is it time to step up? Is it time for it to end? Is it time to be bold? Is it time to take everything you’ve watched from the sidelines and the dirt and put it to use to join the pack? Is it time to be yourself for the first time in what seems like forever? You’re not looking at some heroic conquest but the effort will be no less heroic because this is -possibly the first time- you’re being challenged to not take shit from anyone, especially yourself. And if it isn’t the first time, it will feel that way.

Lastly we come to the Delta Men. This is where I think that the most confusion lies around Initiation. While all the other types are going through their unique trials, ranging from the most Herculean to the most Subtle; from the most abstract to the longest roads, the Initiation of the Delta Men is at the same time more ordinary and yet equally more peculiar. This is because it doesn’t follow the seemingly grandiose motif of the others. You are solidly in the middle pack of society. You are tracking with the masses in a sense, but your individuation can and does shine through regardless. You’re not being challenged to be more Alpha or become one for the first time. You’re not being pressed to the fringes or invited home after a long excommunication. You’re simply being called into the most true, most complete, most integrity driven version of yourself that you can muster. You’re being asked, “If you had to be unequivocally yourself, no apologies, what would that look like? Show me.”

For the Delta Men it’s a tricky dance because the market of Men’s Work right now is filled with the extremes. Why? Because the ones willing to carve out a niche in that arena are the ones that have been through something that feels (was?) massive and breaks the mold. They’ve gone through serious trials and darkness to come out the other side with something to offer the world and they want to share it. Need to share it. They’re not just mastering where -and who- they are because they had to make a heroic journey from somewhere else to get there. It feels big because it is, but that doesn’t make the alternative any less.

For the Delta Men, living in the middle of the proverbial city of Masculinity, there’s no great unknown to explore or beast to conquer. The edge here is doing the ordinary with absolute excellence. The revealed mystery is the fact that no matter where you are on the map, there is always somewhere to go that is forward, and for the you, it is about going confidently down your own Path. You’ve been told for the last decade (at least) that your initiation must be extravagant, extreme, or harrowing. We’ve got ex Marines doing boot camp for normies at the price of $12k. We’ve got Wilderness Shaman offering spiritual quests that would have historically been reserved for the elite mystics. The price is no cheaper. And here you are, in the middle, just trying to bring excellence into your daily routine.

For you, the Initiation you must look for is one in which the people that see you in your every day life may not know what has changed, but they will feel the difference in how you hold yourself. They will sense the expansion of your beingness, see you showing up with a little more clarity and a lot more confidence. They’ll ask you if you changed your hair, not knowing that you evolved your soul.

What I want you to take away from this is that you’re not looking for an initiation that is anything but exactly what you need to face next. But regardless of where you are in the path, you do need one. And if you never received a big one into Manhood, sooner is better. I will also say that for all of these types and their relevant initiations, there are exceptions. Remember, typologies are just guides. They’re not rules.

At the end of it all what have we learned from the Wolves with their packs?

Be bold, be brave, be strong. Show up for your tribe, care for those you rely on to survive. Fill your role well, meet the call to something bigger with confidence, and curiosity. Do not go gently into the dark night. Take no shit.

And when the invitation echos through the crisp air of the night to rise up a meet your next Self through whatever initiation meets you, do it 100% with no apology. The juice is most definitely worth the squeeze.

To your next unfolding, Gents.